Why Love Involves Teaching

Why Love Involves Teaching
Mengapa Cinta Melibatkan Mengajarkan

TRANSKRIP
There’s a few around that the most romantic thing you could tell someone else is,
” I don’t want to change a thing about you,
‘I love you exactly as you are.”
According to a prevalent romantic philosophy,
Love is definitely not meant to be about trying to alter another person.
But, a blanket refusal to listen to any idea of change at our lover’s hands would only make sense if we were in fact, already more or less perfect.
and yet, the more time two people spend around each other, the more they’re naturally going to spot things that are a little less than ideal.
It might be something quite small – their way of chewing perhaps.
Or something larger.
Their attitude towards their career or family.
Many other people might’ve spotted these problems before –
If they never said anything, it’s not because they’re nicer – just far less concerned.
But our lovers can and have to be bothered.
It’s the mixed privilege of the job.
However, because the concept of education in love has such low status,
things tend to go terribly wrong when there’s a lesson to impart.
From a lack of confidence in the legitimacy of their task, the lover with something to teach may be neither calm nor prepared.
Furthermore, because so much is at stake
a fear of not being listened to over something vital can quickly explode into rage or something similar.
As for the one who has something to learn,
Our culture immediately makes them feel that feedback is by nature unromantic and illegitimate.
They can feel – got at – picked on – and humiliated and so may fall back on that comforting yet nonsensical line,
“You wouldn’t criticize me if you loved me.”
In love, we’re too often terrible educators and students.
Yet in truth, we’re all so imperfect,
We’ve got to teach and learn.
Good criticism is the salvation not the end of love.
A lot about love IS about tolerating and accepting frailties.
But some of it is also about offering the sort of feedback that no one else gives a damn enough about to give us.
Love should not be about cherishing everything,
but about seeing the full potential in one another
And therefore, about trusting in one another enough to listen to challenging information.
Good love means two people on a rotating basis,
knowing how to take on the roles both of really kind teacher and deeply open minded, undefensive student.

TERJEMAHAN
There’s a few around that the most romantic thing you could tell someone else is,
Ada beberapa hal yang paling romantis yang bisa kamu ucapkan ke orang lain adalah,

” I don’t want to change a thing about you,
“Aku tidak ingin mengubah apapun dari dirimu,

‘I love you exactly as you are.”
‘Aku mencintaimu apa adanya”

According to a prevalent romantic philosophy,
Menurut sebuah filosofi romantis yang populer,

Love is definitely not meant to be about trying to alter another person.
Cinta tentu saja tidak berarti mencoba untuk mengubah orang lain.

But, a blanket refusal to listen to any idea of change at our lover’s hands would only make sense if we were in fact, already more or less perfect.
Tapi, penolakan menyeluruh untuk mendengarkan ide perubahan oleh pasangan kita hanya akan masuk akal jika pada kenyataannya kita sudah kurang lebih sempurna.

and yet, the more time two people spend around each other, the more they’re naturally going to spot things that are a little less than ideal.
tetapi, semakin lama dua orang menghabiskan waktu bersama, semakin mudah mereka akan menemukan hal-hal yang tidak ideal.

It might be something quite small – their way of chewing perhaps.
Mungkin saja sesuatu yang sederhana – mungkin cara mereka mengunyah.

Or something larger.
Atau sesuatu yang lebih besar.

Their attitude towards their career or family.
Sikap mereka terhadap karir atau keluarga mereka.

Many other people might’ve spotted these problems before –
Banyak orang mungkin sudah melihat masalah-masalah ini sebelumnya-

If they never said anything, it’s not because they’re nicer – just far less concerned.
Jika mereka tidak pernah mengatakan sesuatu, itu bukan karena mereka baik – hanya tidak khawatir saja.

But our lovers can and have to be bothered.
Tapi pasangan kita bisa dan harus terusik.

It’s the mixed privilege of the job.
Itulah campuran hak istimewa tugas sebagai pasangan.

However, because the concept of education in love has such low status,
Akan tetapi, karena konsep edukasi dalam cinta memiliki status yang rendah,

things tend to go terribly wrong when there’s a lesson to impart.
banyak hal cenderung menjadi kacau ketika harus ada pelajaran yang diajarkan.

From a lack of confidence in the legitimacy of their task, the lover with something to teach may be neither calm nor prepared.
Dari kurang percaya diri dalam legitimasi tugas, pasangan dengan sesuatu untuk diajarkan mungkin akan tidak tenang atau siap.

Furthermore, because so much is at stake
Terlebih, karena resikonya sangat besar

a fear of not being listened to over something vital can quickly explode into rage or something similar.
rasa takut untuk tidak didengarkan untuk hal yang penting bisa secara cepat meledak menjadi sebuah kemarahan atau hal yang serupa.

As for the one who has something to learn,
Sedangkan bagi orang yang harus belajar

our culture immediately makes them feel that feedback is by nature unromantic and illegitimate.
budaya kita secara langsung membuat mereka merasa bahwa feedback secara alami tidak romantis dan tidak sah.

They can feel – got at – picked on – and humiliated and so may fall back on that comforting yet nonsensical line,
Mereka bisa merasa – diserang – diganggu dan dihina dan mungkin akan bertumpu pada jawaban yang menghibur meskipun tidak masuk akal,

“You wouldn’t criticize me if you loved me.”
“Kamu tidak akan mengkritik aku jika kamu mencintaiku.”

In love, we’re too often terrible educators and students.
Dalam cinta, seringkali kita adalah pengajar dan pembelajar yang buruk.

Yet in truth, we’re all so imperfect,
Tapi dalam kenyataannya, kita begitu tidak sempurna,

We’ve got to teach and learn.
Kita harus mengajar dan belajar.

Good criticism is the salvation not the end of love.
Kritik yang bagus adalah penyelamatan, bukan akhir dari cinta.

A lot about love IS about tolerating and accepting frailties.
Banyak hal tentang cinta adalah tentang mentoleransi dan menerima kelemahan.

But some of it is also about offering the sort of feedback that no one else gives a damn enough about to give us.
Tapi cinta juga adalah tentang memberikan masukan yang orang lain peduli untuk berikan kepada kita.

Love should not be about cherishing everything,
Cinta harusnya tidak hanya tentang menghargai semuanya,

but about seeing the full potential in one another
tapi tentang melihat potensi penuh di dalam diri satu sama lain.

and therefore, about trusting in one another enough to listen to challenging information.
dan oleh karena itu, tentang cukup percaya satu sama lain untuk mendengarkan informasi yang menantang.

Good love means two people on a rotating basis,
Pasangan yang baik berarti dua orang yang bergantian,

knowing how to take on the roles both of really kind teacher and deeply open minded, undefensive student.
paham bagaimana menjalankan dua peran sebagai guru yang sangat baik dan murid yang berpikiran terbuka dan tidak defensif.