How To Forgive

How To Forgive
Bagaimana Caranya Memaafkan

TRANSKRIP
It can be so hard to forgive because – so often – we simply are in the right and the scale of the folly, thoughtlessness and meanness of others seems utterly beyond our own measure.
But there are two inviolable ideas which should nevertheless, in the face of the grossest behavior, be kept in mind to increase our chances of being able to forgive.
Firstly: we must remember how the other person got there, to this place of idiocy and cruelty.
Every irritating fault in another person has a long history behind it.
They have become like this because of flaws in their development, which they did not choose for themselves.
They were shaped by troubles which we cannot see but which we can know exist.
The arrogant person was trapped (at some key point in their personal evolution) in an environment where being modest and reasonable seemed to guarantee they’d be trampled on.
The hyper-critical individual has lived too much, as their personality was growing, around people who couldn’t
take a gentle hint – so they came to rely on blunt assertions.
The frustratingly timid, mousy person was (at some stage) terrified;
the show-off learned their irritating manner around people who were hard to please.
Behind every failing – behind everything that’s wrong and infuriating about those we meet – is a decisive trauma encountered before someone could cope with it properly.
They are maddening but they got to be this way without meaning to.
To forgive is to understand the origins of evil and cruelty.
Secondly, and very strangely, there are difficult things about you too.
Of course, not in this area.
Not in any area remotely connected to the sort of lapses that destroy your faith in humanity.
But in some areas, quiet areas that you forget about as soon as you’ve travelled through them, you too are a deeply imperfect and questionable individual.
Gently, you have – in your own way – betrayed.
Nicely, you have been a coward.
Modestly, you have forgotten your privileges.
Unthinkingly, you have added salt to the wounds of others.
We don’t need to know anything about you to know this as a certainty.
We must forgive because – not right now, not over this, but one day, over something – we need to be forgiven.
We would – in the past – regularly have looked up to the heavens for this forgiveness.
We do that less and less.
But that doesn’t attenuate the need for some moments when we limber up to utter that most implausible word ‘sorry’ – or indeed stretch our ethical imagination in order to pronounce those even more arduous and unnatural words, ‘I forgive you.

TERJEMAHAN
It can be so hard to forgive because – so often – we simply are in the right and the scale of the folly, thoughtlessness and meanness of others seems utterly beyond our own measure.
Memaafkan itu bisa jadi sangat susah karena – seringkali – kitalah yang benar dan tingkat kebodohan, ketidakbijaksanaan dan kejahatan orang lain sepertinya melebihi batasan kita.

But there are two inviolable ideas which should nevertheless, in the face of the grossest behavior, be kept in mind to increase our chances of being able to forgive.
Tapi ada dua gagasan yang tidak bisa diganggu-gugat yang meskipun demikian, di hadapan perilaku yang paling menjijikkan, harus diperhatikan untuk meningkatkan kesempatan kita untuk bisa memaafkan.

Firstly: we must remember how the other person got there, to this place of idiocy and cruelty.
Pertama: kita harus ingat bagaimana orang lain bisa sampai di titik itu, tempat kebodohan dan kekejaman itu.

Every irritating fault in another person has a long history behind it.
Setiap kesalahan yang menyebalkan orang lain memiliki sebuah sejarah panjang di belakangnya.

They have become like this because of flaws in their development, which they did not choose for themselves.
Mereka menjadi seperti ini karena ketidaksempurnaan dalam perkembangan mereka, yang mereka tidak pilih sendiri bagi mereka.

They were shaped by troubles which we cannot see but which we can know exist.
Mereka dibentuk oleh masalah-masalah yang kita tidak bisa lihat tapi yang kita bisa ketahui ada.

The arrogant person was trapped (at some key point in their personal evolution) in an environment where being modest and reasonable seemed to guarantee they’d be trampled on.
Orang yang angkuh terjebak (di suatu saat penting dalam evolusi pribadi mereka) dalam sebuah lingkungan di mana rendah hati dan adil akan memastikan mereka diinjak-injak.

The hyper-critical individual has lived too much, as their personality was growing, around people who couldn’t
take a gentle hint – so they came to rely on blunt assertions.
Individu yang super-kritis hidup terlalu lama, ketika kepribadian mereka sedang bertumbuh, di sekitar orang-orang yang tidak mengerti isyarat yang sopan – jadi mereka mengandalkan pernyataan tanpa basi-basi

The frustratingly timid, mousy person was (at some stage) terrified;
Orang yang sangat pemalu pada satu masa ketakutan;

the show-off learned their irritating manner around people who were hard to please.
orang yang suka pamer mempelajari sikap mereka yang menyebalkan di sekitar orang-orang susah disenangkan.

Behind every failing – behind everything that’s wrong and infuriating about those we meet – is a decisive trauma encountered before someone could cope with it properly.
Di belakang setiap kegagalan – di belakang semua yang salah dan menggeramkan tentang orang-orang yang kita temui adalah sebuah trauma menentukan yang dialami sebelum seseorang bisa mengatasinya dengan baik.

They are maddening but they got to be this way without meaning to.
Mereka membuat jengkel tapi mereka seperti itu tanpa bermaksud demikian.

To forgive is to understand the origins of evil and cruelty.
Memaafkan adalah memahami asal keburukan dan kejahatan.

Secondly, and very strangely, there are difficult things about you too.
Yang kedua, dan sangat anehnya, ada hal-hal yang sulit mengenai dirimu juga.

Of course, not in this area.
Tentu saja, tidak dalam area ini.

Not in any area remotely connected to the sort of lapses that destroy your faith in humanity.
Tidak di area yang terhubungkan dengan tipe kesalahan yang menghancurkan imanmu akan kemanusiaan.

But in some areas, quiet areas that you forget about as soon as you’ve travelled through them, you too are a deeply imperfect and questionable individual.
Tapi di beberapa area, area sunyi yang kamu lupakan begitu kamu melewatinya, kamu pun individu yang begitu tidak sempurna dan meragukan.

Gently, you have – in your own way – betrayed.
Dengan lemah lembut, kamu dengan caramu telah berkhianat.

Nicely, you have been a coward.
Dengan manis, kamu telah menjadi seorang pengecut.

Modestly, you have forgotten your privileges.
Dengan rendah hati, kamu telah melupakan hak istimewamu.

Unthinkingly, you have added salt to the wounds of others.
Tanpa berpikir, kamu telah menambahkan garam ke luka orang lain.

We don’t need to know anything about you to know this as a certainty.
Kita tidak perlu tahu apapun tentangmu untuk mengetahui bahwa ini adalah hal yang pasti.

We must forgive because – not right now, not over this, but one day, over something – we need to be forgiven.
Kita harus memaafkan karena – tidak sekarang, tidak karena ini, tapi satu saat, karena sesuatu hal – kita perlu untuk dimaafkan.

We would – in the past – regularly have looked up to the heavens for this forgiveness.
Di masa lalu, kita dengan teratur akan menengadahkan kepala ke langit untuk pengampunan ini.

We do that less and less.
Kita mulai jarang dan jarang melakukannya.

But that doesn’t attenuate the need for some moments when we limber up to utter that most implausible word ‘sorry’ – or indeed stretch our ethical imagination in order to pronounce those even more arduous and unnatural words, ‘I forgive you.
Tapi itu tidak mengurangi perlunya waktu di mana kita melenturkan lidah untuk mengucapkan kata yang paling tidak masuk akal ‘maaf’ – atau membentangkan imajinasi etis kita untuk mengatakan kata-kata yang jauh lebih berat dan tidak alamiah ‘Aku memaafkanmu.’